Day Fourteen (or The Way of an Artist)

I am too an artist! Really I am!! That's what I need to remember over the next few weeks. I am going to attempt, for like the eighth time, to go all twelve weeks of the "Artist's Way". I'll keep my contract, I'll do the morning pages, I'll do the dates. And I'll do the ART. The picture to the right is one of my paintings. It's 4'x6' on 3/4" MDF. Yes, that's right, MDF, yes, four feet by six feet. I happen to love it. I'm afraid to have anybody but my husband see it, just for fear of their reaction. If someone says they like it, I'll blush, but I won't believe them, and if they say they don't, I'll be crushed. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I did a much smaller version of the same photo in yellows and oranges, and it just glows. I really want to make one of those for myself.

I'm big into the self-help this week. I want to do the Artist's Way, I want to work on my weight loss, I want to learn how to work Photoshop. I'm journaling quite a bit - here, on paper, it seems where ever I am, I'm writing something down. And it's all navel gazing, but there you go. I'm in a transitional period - I have a job, I know I am going to lose my job, but I also know when I'm going to lose my job, so I have some transition work to do. I want to open myself up to a more creative side to compliment the work I do with amounts and accounts and stuff. I want to work on our home, make it a better place for us all to live. I want to create, I want to organize, and I want to play. Sigh. It feels hopeless, but I have to remember that it's my choice to make. I can do it all if I choose to.