Up...Down...Up....

First off, they are still working on the deck.  Although I've been taking progress pictures along and along, it doesn't look like much has changed from day to day.  Lay out wood, secure wood - it's a lot of work, but visually, they look about the same.  Added to that, we lost a couple of days due to illness and supply runs.  I'll put together a comprehensive post sometime in the near future.

Yesterday was a roller coaster kind of day. I loaded up the back of the truck with recycling.  It's been a long while since I hauled any off and it was starting to get intrusive.  So off to the recycle center.  Unload $183 worth of cans and bottles.  Wahoo!  Get back in the truck to get out of there - I've got errands to run - and the engine won't turn over.

Now this is not a surprise, it's an older truck and we keep jumper cables in it just in case.  I pop the hood and get out, cables in hand, and one of the very helpful and friendly workers comes over to assist.  Except he doesn't really know what he's doing.  And he crosses the streams.  Arc welding ensues.  One of the terminal post turns to slag.  The ring connector dissolves.  And fortunately, the main breaker is fried.  I say fortunately, because I can only imagine what would have happened to the electrical system if it hadn't blown.  Horror stories of exploding batteries and acid showers were shared by passerbys.  Friends, let this be a lesson - learn how to jump start your car yourself.  Although I had the basic idea, I allowed the enthusiasm to sway me into letting someone else do it for me.  A phone call to AAA, 2 hours and $148 later, I'm back on the road.  Sigh and hang (or bang) head.

The main reason for the whole trip over the hill in the first place was that I ordered a new grill from Lowes online and needed to pick it up (along with several other things!).  When I finally get there, I present my confirmation and customer service tells me that they don't have any in the box any longer, they've all been assembled. Which, I've got the truck, that's all good.  And because they've been sitting outside assembled, they have a little superficial rust on them.  Okay, not surprising, and just makes the need for a grill cover more obvious.  So, we'll give you 30% off of the price you paid.  You mean, you'll assemble it and give me $75 for doing it?!?  DEAL!

So now all I need to do is put some oil on the cast iron portions to stop it from rusting further - like you would season a skillet. There's some slight rust on a couple of nuts and one of the handles, I need to figure out what, if anything, can be done to stop that. 

And now, I need to go bake cupcakes.  I think Toasted Almond this week.  And Chai Latte next week.

Things

Thing the first:  Mark & I spent a wonderful weekend in Las Vegas last weekend, celebrating our 24th anniversary.  We had a great dinner, saw a rib tickling comedian, and played some pretty awesome cards.  There's more, but it's a bit TMI, so I'm not sharing... ;-)

Thing the second:  Just before we left, Mark had read that a 1980's icon was going to be playing at the Oracle Arena in Oakland  last week.  Tickets were going on sale on Friday at noon. So, we got up "early" (early for Vegas that is!) and thanks to the marvel that is an i-phone, we got tickets to the show on Wednesday.  Oh my.  Prince.  I don't think I've had that much fun at a concert in a long time.  The show started at 7:30 and we were not out of there until 11:30.  There were two encores and even a tribute to Morris Day by Prince.  The crowd sang themselves hoarse - I can't imagine what it does to the actual stars of the show.  And Shelia E.  Just freakin' beautiful.  The girl can still pound on a drum like nobodies business and look mighty fine doing it.

Thing the third:  On checking the mail when we returned home, we found a Valentine letter from the IRS.   According to them, there were some discrepancies between the income reported by third parties and the income reported by us on our return, resulting in additional taxes, penalties and interest of $213,766.  No, that is not a typo.  Two hundred and thirteen THOUSAND dollars.  A couple of phone calls to some very knowledgeable and helpful IRS agents later, and I believe that we have cleared things up.  No, I did not mess up our return that badly.  Codename Mr. Grey (I know, right?) apologized and said that the letter should never have been sent in the first place.  We should have a "cleared" letter from the IRS in just a few short weeks.  I'm not holding my breath, but my fingers are crossed.

Thing the last:  All this excitement has landed both Mark & I with a cold.  I don't know if it was the petrie dish of Las Vegas, the contact high we got in Oakland, or the stress of dealing with the IRS.  But for now at least, we're snuggled under some blankets, beverage of choice at hand, feeling all miserable and stuff. 

Later gators...

And Mondays

Monday.  And the house is quiet for the first time in over 48 hours.  I don't know how a person doesn't go crazy with all that noise all the time.  I can hear a clock ticking in the far room.  The static hiss of the light bulbs.  The scratch of my pen and sleeve as they pass over the page.  A jay screeches in the trees.

Don't get me wrong.  I love music.  There is nothing like good music to set a mood, to get you moving, to score your day.  I can get sucked into the TV as well as anyone. Despite my best intentions I listen* to  more TV than I care to admit.

But this ~ this quiet time when you can hear the rain dripping off the gutters.  A critter rustling in the leaves.  The creaks of the house as it settles again.  This is necessary for the peace of my soul.

I can think, without having to process...

I can imagine, without being led...

I can listen, without having to comment...

I can be still.

On another note, does anyone know what this is?  I found it on my walk the other day.  It's about the size of a large cherry.  I'm assuming it's either not ripe or poisonous since the tree was still full of the fruit.

*These days I "listen" to TV more than I watch it, since my eyes are usually focused on what's going on in my hands.

Unemployed. Again.



Pear Leaves in the Fall

So, my most recent contract gig has ended.  It lasted over a year, so I have no real complaints, just how the heck do I get hired next time?  And it's the best/worst time to be unemployed.  Best  - It's the holidays, and I can spend the time to enjoy them without the need to be rush-rush-rush everywhere everywhen.  I might even get out my Christmas decorations for the first time in three years.  Worst - It's the holidays, and I have no extra money to spend.  It's not like I don't have enough supplies and time to make things, just, wow, can I make it work? I'm sure I can.  But still.  I need to take inventory.

I find I do well if I keep to a schedule.  Get my house cleaned up.  Get moving - cardio, yoga, weights.  Don't get sucked into the Internet.  Get out of the house at least once a week - even if I don't have an interview.  Make plans and schemes and dreams - and I will get a job just in time to mess them all up. 

Today was my first day home.  I'm still playing catch-up with the things that have been avoided or "slapped at" over the past year.  It'll take the rest of the week to get everything in order - and I miss a day because I have an appt on the far side of the hill later this week.  At least I'll be able to run some errands that day as well. 

Here's to some good spirits, some good karma, and some good times.



Another birthday, coming up...

   Usually, sometime near my birthday I like to review my goals from the beginning of the year.  It's a handy time for me to do this as you can't get much closer to the middle of the year than June/July time frame.  I'm always surprised when something can actually be crossed off my list, because, let's face it, I have absolutely zilch in the way of follow-through.  This year is, so far, no different.  I've been knitting, and things are getting done, just not as much as I would like.  Losing weight, not happening.  Keeping in touch with my sisters, barely, but almost current.  Blogging, ha! 

  I don't think that means that I need to stop planning though.  Because I do accomplish some of the things on my list, eventually.  Like my tangerine scarf - that's been on the list for about 4 years now.  And finally, it's done.  And the long "add-on" room has the floor and the paint, and is organized quite nicely.  That's been on my list since we moved into the house.  And last year, it finally got done. 

  Things just have to marinate a while before they get finished is all. I have a wish list a mile long.  Some things on it are really old, that doesn't mean I don't want to do them any more.  It just means I haven't done them yet.  I guess it's more of a bucket list than anything else.  This year we have plans to go to Yellowstone and meet up with some family.  Well, that's been on the list for a while.  Really, check it out.  It's more of a part of a bigger whole (like visiting all the National Parks or taking the nephews across the USA) but it's still part of my list.

  So I have the same goals and dreams over and over and over again.  And I make progress on some of them, but at least I am reminded of what I'd like to do and eventually, they might get done.  Should I publish them here and now?  I think not.  Accountability is all well and good, but I'd rather not expose myself to the world.  

  And summer is finally here - maybe?  It's been cool and misty the last couple of days and that is so unlike our summers that I don't know that the tomatoes are going to set fruit.  At least the farmer's market is full of fresh summer produce.  I had a peach today that just dissolved in my mouth - mmm.  But I always feel like summer time is my time.  I love the heat and the sunshine into the later evening hours.  It puts a bounce in my step.

  Navel gazing done for now.  Hope you have a happy!

Is it Friday yet??

It's been a bad morning - just in general. The alarm goes off at 6:00, but I don't drag my butt out of bed until 6:30, so I don't have the time to do more than shower and dress, since I want to leave at 7:00. Step on the scale, and it says I've gained 3 pounds overnight. Frick and frack. I don't think so. I think the scale is grumpy because it is cold and it needs new batteries. But I don't have time to deal with that today. I'll move it to the warmer part of the house tonight. Shower, dress, where's my freaking jeans to wear today? Finally, into the car and the battery is dead. Seems that those magic headlights that turn themselves off had a bad day yesterday and drained the battery. Back upstairs - Honey? Can you jump me? Lift the hood to find that "someone" has put some ABC gum on the battery and there's a half eaten acorn someplace there shouldn't be - concerned now that some rodent is making my engine a toasty home. But, just a jump will do. Get the car started and back on my way to work - it's only 7:30, so I should be there in plenty of time. 100 minutes later (1 1/2 hours!) I'm finally at my desk. WTF?!?!?! Good thing my 9:00 meeting was pushed to Tuesday at 2:00. At least I have my breakfast with me. Get my coffee, my water, put the oatmeal in the microwave for 25 seconds!!!! Explode in the microwave. Crap. Now I've got to clean out the company microwave, my oatmeal is all down the side of the cup and hot like molten lava in my hand. Start working - at least the computer is behaving today, unlike yesterday. Well, maybe not so much. I have a ghost version of excel running in the background and it is killing my essbase. Which is critical to the report I need to have completed today. Ticket out to IT. Very friendly and helpful IT dude walks me through the fix and we are back up and running. Is it noon yet?

(Picture unrelated to very bad day....)

The week slides by...

Plans and schemes and dreams, and they all slide by.

This morning I ordered a pair of shoes on line - I've worn out all the shoes in my closet and my recent shopping experience has left me bereft of anything to wear upon my XL size feet. Added to that, I've been a bit of a klutz as of late, and don't feel comfortable wearing anything with a heel higher than 1". So. I'm not really a shoe girl - Imelda Marcos (and Michael Jordan admitting to over 500 pairs!) has nothing to fear from me. I prefer to spend money on other things. So it was with a bit of trepidation that I dropped some bucks on a pair of shoes on zappos. Free Shipping, ease of shopping (show me only shoes in my size, in the color I want, with the heel height I prefer...) it can only be a dream come true IF they actually fit. We'll see in about a week. If they do fit, I think I’m going to have to work a pair into the budget on a more regular basis.



When the "little" sis was here, she pointed me in the direction of some plus size active wear. So that went into an on-line shopping cart as well this morning. I’m hoping that will be here sooner than a week. In the unbelievable words of my mother, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!" I had a really emotional day yesterday and although I couldn't point my finger at any overwhelming one thing to make me mad, I had a whole ball of "irks" wadded up to equal one big mad. And tucked into that wad were several that have to do with my self image and my lack of follow-thru, particularly on the weight-loss/exercise front. I mean seriously, I have no excuses. I have the equipment, I have the time, I have the access, and I can get the instructors and the groceries. The only thing left is me. It’s not like I don’t know what to do. And this is something that I can control, independent of others. So check up on me from time to time and see how I’m doing.

 I’d appreciate it.

2009 - the year in review

What a year.

I got to visit with nearly all of my near relatives this year - Mom & Dad came for a visit and Christine did too. I went to Texas to see Kim and visit with her kids, and Aunt Doris too. Mark's brothers (and thier wives) came out to visit us, after we spent a weekend in Georgia. And 25 years later, we still stay in touch with high school friends.

We lost some loved ones ~ they will be missed.

I did some traveling, solo and with family - Napa, Big Sur, Point Lobos, Ana Nuevo, Sequoia, Las Vegas, Georgia, Texas... And was highly entertained by the likes of Bruce Springsteen, Toby Kieth, and AC/DC, as well as a raft of stand up comedians.

I worked for three different companies, and Mark is semi-retired now.

Creatively, it was mostly yarn this past year, but I have begun playing with beads and wire recently. I try to avoid new crafts as best I can as I don't really need the tools and stash that seem to accompany them. And then, once the "craze" has passed, that's when I seem to find the class or the inspiration.

It all sounds good, but it seems that the sad outweighs the glad. We'll be glad to see the end of the "naughts".

I've got big plans for 2010 ~ but I do every new year. Wish me luck!

Day 002: Navel Gazing the first

It's Tuesday. The second day of the year. My goals for yesterday were overtaken in a rush of computer game playing. I've got to quit doing that. I did however, get to take my photos - both yesterday and today. Two down, 364 to go!

I didn't realize my pantry was missing so many critical staples to my recipes - so today I get to to go to the store. How can I be out of salt, out of buttermilk, and worst yet dishwasher soap (no I don't use that when I cook ~ silly!) all after just going to the grocery on Monday. Argh!

We'll see how today goes. Stream of conscience now. Gonna just write whatever until I get comfortable writing every day.

Day Nineteen (or Back again...)

Here I am, wishing I was back at the beach again. I think it's time for some wave therapy. I'm going to make sure that I get my butt down to the ocean this weekend and sit for a while. I'm feeling out of sorts and I need some time to regroup. I have too many things to do on my list of lists and taking some time out for me is not on them. I'd rather be at home, working on the house, than sitting in a hotel here in Austin. But here is the perfect time for some self inspection, retrospection, and creative noodling. No demands on my time or my person except for those that I create. I should be glad for this time away. And I am, just not today.

Day Fourteen (or The Way of an Artist)

I am too an artist! Really I am!! That's what I need to remember over the next few weeks. I am going to attempt, for like the eighth time, to go all twelve weeks of the "Artist's Way". I'll keep my contract, I'll do the morning pages, I'll do the dates. And I'll do the ART. The picture to the right is one of my paintings. It's 4'x6' on 3/4" MDF. Yes, that's right, MDF, yes, four feet by six feet. I happen to love it. I'm afraid to have anybody but my husband see it, just for fear of their reaction. If someone says they like it, I'll blush, but I won't believe them, and if they say they don't, I'll be crushed. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. I did a much smaller version of the same photo in yellows and oranges, and it just glows. I really want to make one of those for myself.

I'm big into the self-help this week. I want to do the Artist's Way, I want to work on my weight loss, I want to learn how to work Photoshop. I'm journaling quite a bit - here, on paper, it seems where ever I am, I'm writing something down. And it's all navel gazing, but there you go. I'm in a transitional period - I have a job, I know I am going to lose my job, but I also know when I'm going to lose my job, so I have some transition work to do. I want to open myself up to a more creative side to compliment the work I do with amounts and accounts and stuff. I want to work on our home, make it a better place for us all to live. I want to create, I want to organize, and I want to play. Sigh. It feels hopeless, but I have to remember that it's my choice to make. I can do it all if I choose to.

Day Thirteen (or Back in Austin)

I'm back in Austin. Wahoo! Not really, but I have to do something to get excited around here. I'm staying at the usual place, with plans to hit up some really good food joints. I need to NOT SHOP while I am here, I have too much to fit in my suitcase already, but I did bring an extra one this time. I'm driving a Chevy HHR which is kinda funky and so not something I would normally drive. I have to say though that the cool factor is much better than the Toyota Corolla I had last time. I'm just glad that it's going to be a two short weeks, rather than one two week time frame.

Other than that, I'm starting to do the Artist's Way while I am here. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get a jump start on it and be able to continue once I am home on a more regular basis. I don't think I want to be a writer, but I do want to create visual works of art. Photography, painting, collage, who knows.

Day Twelve (or Any Random Saturday)

Why is it that the Saturday's are always filled with chores, and tasks, and to do lists and not so much with the fun things in life? I know it's because we work all week long, and in the evenings we just sit our honeys on the sofa watching TV, but I'd like to change that in my life.

This morning I've been watching out the window on the deck and the d*&m squirrels are running back and forth along the railing eating everything green. I've tried to go out there with the BB gun, but they disappear when they hear the screen door open. I am not going to get any apples off the tree this year, thanks to the birds and the squirrels.

This morning tho, I did see a buck run across the yard. I see doe all the time, but a buck is few and far between. I think it must have been September, we had eleven doe and two bucks in the space of 15 minutes walk past on the deer trail right outside our living room window.

Things to do, and posting another entry is not going to get them done. I leave for Austin tomorrow night, and I'd like to get the house picked up before I leave. I'd like to kill the damn squirrels too.

Day Nine (or Meltdown)

Melt-down last night. {insert picture of a puddle of ice-cream} And if you know me, they don't happen very often. I don't know really what happened. I dropped a fork on the floor and ended in a crying jag bemoaning the rest of my life. The work thing that's going on - on the surface it sounds like every one's dream. Get paid for basically just being available and answering questions. I'm just so used to being in the loop, knowing everything that's going on, being a vital and important part of it. So to just limiting participation to those things they ask you about, it's not really working for me. I'm not about to change it, the rewards are too great. Just in the meantime, it's going to work on my psyche. And then, it feels like I am working my butt at getting the house ready, with no assistance at all.

Added to that, it seemed that everything I did yesterday, everything I tried to push forward, was mired in mud. The car needs to be fixed - I stopped yesterday and added fluid to the transmission, but they need to order parts and then there will be an expensive repair job to be done. Gotta do it - I need to keep the car working until around this time next year.

I tried to push on the remodel - they were supposed to call me back and they didn't so I called the designer dude. Supposed to call me back again today. If they don't, then this is the last time I try.

I tried to push on the AA Miles. Takes 6-8 weeks to post the bonus. And you need to call someone else about the Hilton miles.

I tried to push on the new computer - should have a discount through work, but I can't find it on our internal website. Sent an email, still waiting. If we don't have the juke-box PC ordered by the time I come back from Austin in two weeks, I'm going to move forward on the CD inventory. I just need to know where each of those over 500 CD's is.

So, ugh.

Day Four (or Homeward Bound)

I'm packed. And repacked. And packed again. It still won't all fit in the three measly suitcases, one extra large purse and a damn computer bag. Sigh. I'll be back in Austin in a week, but only for a short visit, so I guess I need to bring an empty suitcase with me. I'll know for sure in a little while if the bags are over the weight restriction.

I'm so looking forward to being home this next week. There are so many things that I want to do before the BBSis and kiddo's get there. And, I just want to be home. Snuggled under the blanket listening to the rain fall on the roof. My own bed, my own kitchen, my own honey...

Anxious to get going now that I'm packed, hoping that the flight doesn't have "issues".

Day One (or the beginning)

Hopefully, it's the start of a new journey. I spent some time last night thinking about all the things I would like or need to do courtesy of "cool people I know". And there's a lot of them, I mean a lot. But one of the easiest to begin will be to keep a daily journal/blog. I hope that over time, this will become less than a list of things to do and more a recognition of the beauty and joy that surrounds me and perhaps the things that I care about.

People talk about passion ~ and I don't know that I have passion in my life. I like my logical mind too much for it to be overridden by love, lust, or even anger. There are consequences to each of our actions, and to do something because your emotions rule you, regardless of the consequences, is something I cannot do. I like control, routine, and understanding. That doesn't mean that I am a heartless, boring, uncreative person, it just means that I seem to approach things with perhaps a more detached manner than people are used to. I like to process my options in my head before acting, or see the finished result long before I get there. Often, it doesn't end up the way I thought, but that's not the end of the world either.

Navel gazing - the bane of the blog, but this is for me first and for others later.