Showing posts with label to do-ne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label to do-ne. Show all posts

Monday, January 9

Weekend Round up

I wish I had a picture.  Maybe I'll find one by the time I am done with this post. 
A very productive weekend, at least for me personally.  I was able to move several of my projects forward quite a bit:
  • Secret Santa 2012 -  don't you wish I had your name??
  • Solid Sock - Lisette a grey sock with a simple cable and a delicate cuff.  It's been in my queue for some time now.
  • Cookies - upcoming post on the Cappuccino Chocolate Bites
  • Cupcakes -  a co-worker of Mark's is leaving the company, and they requested "something chocolate".  Well, it's something all right - a Swiss chocolate cupcake, dotted with mini chocolate chips, filled with milk chocolate mousse, a splash of dark chocolate ganache, and a squiggle of white chocolate to "pretty it up". They aren't pretty, but omg on the chocolate overload.   And I have homemade chocolate mousse for dessert tonight - YUM! 
  • Living Room Fix Up - finalized the plans for the entertainment center we are having built.  Just need to take down my three tiny tinsel trees.
  • Dining Room / Kitchen Fix up- decisions mostly made, just need to communicate with the contractor.  We aren't remodeling, just refreshing.  The laminate floor is really starting to peel in there, so it's next on the to-do list.  And as long as you are doing the floor, you might as well do the walls, the ceiling, and oh, don't forget, resurface the cabinets, maybe some new lights.... 
  • Eliptical - I'm at 63% this month (5 days out of 8), and hoping to get a much higher percentage before the end of the month.  I'm adding a minute a day until I get to 60 minutes, but I started at 15 minutes on the 1st. 
  • Massage Therapy - I feel so much better.  Not necessarily relaxed, but better, like things are working better, as long as I don't do something stoopid like spend too much time with a mouse in my hand.  Mark on the other hand, was a puddle of goo after his session on Saturday.
  • Resume Updated - never hurts to have something current available.
  • Art Journal - resting, waiting for the next layers.
How was your weekend?
Not related to anything, but it's what's on my windowsill today...

Thursday, November 18

Possibilities


For some time now, I've wanted to do a set of 2' x 4' paintings for my dining room.  A knife, fork and spoon.  Primitive acrylics.  Something that I can actually do.  I have the canvases and I can get the paints.  I just need to decide which of my silverware I want to use as an inspiration.  I have collected a set of mismatched silverware over the years, mostly at flea markets and other thrift shops, and it's all quite tarnished at this point.  As much as I love the look of the flourishes, scrolls and flowers on the actual handles, I don't believe my painting skill set is good enough to do them justice.  Right now, I'm liking the long handle of the third knife from the bottom.  It has a few details that might be a bit of a challenge ~ I'll have to see if I can't do a draft first.



Tuesday, November 16

Unemployed. Again.


Pear Leaves in the Fall

So, my most recent contract gig has ended.  It lasted over a year, so I have no real complaints, just how the heck do I get hired next time?  And it's the best/worst time to be unemployed.  Best  - It's the holidays, and I can spend the time to enjoy them without the need to be rush-rush-rush everywhere everywhen.  I might even get out my Christmas decorations for the first time in three years.  Worst - It's the holidays, and I have no extra money to spend.  It's not like I don't have enough supplies and time to make things, just, wow, can I make it work? I'm sure I can.  But still.  I need to take inventory.

I find I do well if I keep to a schedule.  Get my house cleaned up.  Get moving - cardio, yoga, weights.  Don't get sucked into the Internet.  Get out of the house at least once a week - even if I don't have an interview.  Make plans and schemes and dreams - and I will get a job just in time to mess them all up. 

Today was my first day home.  I'm still playing catch-up with the things that have been avoided or "slapped at" over the past year.  It'll take the rest of the week to get everything in order - and I miss a day because I have an appt on the far side of the hill later this week.  At least I'll be able to run some errands that day as well. 

Here's to some good spirits, some good karma, and some good times.




Monday, June 21

We're off book folks....

They had the German cherry pitter, and it works quite well actually.  The hopper kinda stacks up, so you can gently roll the cherries through, but I have to imagine that it works so much better than picking up a cherry, pitting a cherry, pulling the cherry off the pitter and picking up the next cherry.  We were able to process 36#'s of fruit with relative ease.

I know, crazy huh?  I thought that one box of cherries would not quite be enough, so I bought two.  And actually, I'm glad. If this is not the last week the cherries will be available, then it's darn close. 

We spent two afternoons making up jam.  Saturday was Plain Cherry Jane and "Bing" Cherry Jam with spices and Amaretto.  Sunday, we went off book (Ball Blue Book) and started going crazy.  We made Blue-Cherry-Berry, Cherry Marmalade, Cherry-Strawberry, Cherry Vanilla, and Cherry Conserve(Compote?).  All quite yummy, although I think the Cherry-Strawberry and Cherry Vanilla are my favorites.  The Cherry-Strawberry is full of that jammy fruit flavor you read about in your wine tasting notes.  We liked it so much, I actually put aside cherries in the freezer so we can make some more when I get strawberries.  The Cherry Vanilla tastes kinda like the way good pipe tobacco smoke smells.  I think it's going to be great over vanilla ice cream, or maybe as a glaze on some really good meat - duck perhaps?

2010 Jam Plans include:  Strawberry (1 1/2 flats of fruit), Plum (1 box of fruit), and Meyer Lemon Marmalade (whatever is left on the trees!).

I need to preserve (groan!) the recipes for future episodes of "Little Cabin in the Woods", so measurements and notes as follows.

Cherry-Strawberry makes 6.5 half pints
  • 2 1/2 c chopped, pitted cherries
  • 2 c chopped strawberries
  • 1/4 c lemon juice
  • 3 1/2 c sugar
  • 1 pkg powdered pectin (next time use the low-sugar version)
Cherry Marmalade makes 7 half pints
  • 4 c chopped, pitted cherries
  • 1 med orange, chopped and seeded (peel included)
  • 2 T lemon juice
  • Sugar (tbd)
  • 1 pkg powdered pectin
Blue-Cherry-Berry makes 8 half pints
  • 2 c blueberries
  • 2 c chopped pitted cherries  (change to 1 c blueberry, 3 c cherry)
  • 1/4 c lemon juice
  • 6 1/4 c sugar
  • 2 pkgs liquid pectin
Cherry Vanilla makes 7 half-pints
  • 4 c chopped, pitted cherries
  • 1/4 c Amaretto (altho you don't taste it, I think it supports the vanilla bean)
  • 2 T lemon juice
  • 1 vanilla bean, scraped but whole pod cooked in
  • 4 c sugar
  • 1 pkg powdered pectin (change to low sugar pectin next time)
Cherry Pecan Conserve (Compote?) makes 10 half pints
  • 4 c chopped, pitted cherries
  • 1 c chopped strawberries
  • 1 med orange, chopped and seeded (peel included)
  • 1 pkg powdered pectin
  • 1/4 c lemon juice
  • 4 c sugar
  • bring the above to a boil then add:
  • 1 c chopped pecans
  • 1 c raisins
  • 1 pkg liquid pectin

Monday, June 14

When it's Peach Pickin' time in CA....

Then it's jam making time for me.

This weekend Mark went with me to the Farmer's Market in Santa Cruz.  Well, really, it's a flea market with a selection of farm stands included, and the primary reason we go is to hit the farm stands.  I have impulse issues - when I see all the pretty colors and the yumminess that is summer fruits and veggies, I forget how much the two of us actually eat and end up buying enough for a compost pile as well.  So Mark's job was to keep me in check - don't overbuy, just enough for the coming week.  I know I have an issue (potential!), and this system works for us - most of the time.  Until a certain someone, overcome with the sweet perfume of ripe peaches in a warm tent on a summer weekend, decides that yes, we can deal with over 50 #'s of fruit for a steal of a deal... And let me point out, that certain someone wasn't me. 

So, 50#'s of peaches (not cling-free!), 25#'s of sugar, 8 pkgs of pectin, a little lemon juice, 9 hours, 4 aching feet, small knife nicks and sweat later, and we have 80(!) jars of peach jam, peach pie jam, and probably some peach syrup.  80 jars of jam = 5 gallons of jammy goodness.  I think you know what's coming in your Christmas package.

And silly me, I still haven't learned my lesson.  I'm going to Sur La Table some time this week and see if they have one of these or these in stock.  If they do, we'll be repeating the process again next weekend.  Sigh.

Besides the peaches, I also did two jars of refrigerator B&B pickles, a half-gallon of sugar-free strawberry ice cream, and installed new shelving units in the laundry room.  The house is still a mess but smells of peaches, so it's all good.

80 Jars of Peachy Keen Sunshine


Sunday, January 11

Linens and Other Things


Still working on getting "to done", as I sit here in the waning sunlight, listening to the sound of a chainsaw outside my living room window. It's getting later in the afternoon, but the weather is just beautiful today - probably in the upper 60's, lower 70's or so. I can hear the frogs chirping in my potted plants.

This morning I managed to clean out my 1/2 bath - I figured I'd start small, with something that doesn't appear to need that much work anyway. I've only got one day and I'd like to make sure I actually get something accomplished today. Mostly, I use the 1/2 bath as a linen closet for my tablescapes. I emptied out all of my drawers and cabinets and laid down new liner - it's a black and white tole print. Very sweet. As I was cleaning, I could see mouse sign - fortunately for the little rodents they didn't decide to nest in my linens. I don't think they've been there for a while, but you know I'll be keeping a closer eye on things.

I managed to get all of my linens refolded and took some pix along the way. I don't know what it is about the vintage prints, but I just love them - the more color the better. Or throw in some hand embroidery and I'm all gushy. I love the way the embroiderer on this one used a variegated pink in all of her perfect lazy daisies. And then, don't get me started on checks. Evidently, I have a thing for them. (I think I'm missing one or two in this picture!)

I need to remember that I have quite a few pieces of copper tucked into a cupboard - they would make great vases for flowers once in a while.

I boxed up a whole bunch of rejects - ready for donation to Goodwill or the like. I'll make sure they get out of the house this week - or maybe next weekend. And then I can look for additions to my collection - wahoo!!

Check one thing off my list!




Thursday, January 1

A New Day, A New Dawn, A New Year


It's finished, it's done, it's ready to be wrapped and gone! Just like 2008. Although 2008 "The Year of Bad Money" was in some aspects better than 2007 "The Year of Coulda Been Worse", in other ways, it was just plain ugly. Here's hoping that 2009 is better in all ways.
The picture is from a few months ago when I sent the quilt to my friendly machine quilter. We met up, and picked some threads and a pattern and a few short months later, the fabric became a quilt and not just a quilt top. I finally applied the binding last weekend and finished the last bit of hand sewing last night. Just in time for it to be a FO (Finished Object) for 2008. My MIL has been having issues lately and the hope is that this will warm her heart as well as her toes and maybe perk her up a bit.
I'm going to call 2009 "The Year of the Done". I have some projects that have been languishing for years, quite literally, and at least one that's a decade or more old, let alone the IOU's from T-Day Christmas. I'm not going to list them all, but you know I do have a list. Now, just because I want to finish things, doesn't mean that I am going to not start anything new. I just plan on finishing at least two projects before I start something new.
I have some quite large projects in mind - large projects that will require a good block of time, and large projects that can handle bits of time here and there. And then I have smaller projects to do too. I have projects for me and projects for others. I have things I want to do, that haven't even been started yet. I have creative projects, home projects, and personal projects. I'd like to get at least 3 major WIP (Work in Process) projects completed this year and as many of the smaller WIP's off the list as I can. And I'd like to start and complete 2 major projects. The smaller projects that I want to start, and finish, will depend on the smaller WIP's that get done.
So there. Now my main goal is public. Out there for your inspection, comment, and follow up. Hold me accountable, because you never know, one of the projects might be for you.

Tuesday, September 16

Oops! Or Where did the time go??

Time got away from me, and now I need to finish up my trip to LA. But I have to interrupt the regularly scheduled programming for a couple of notes:

1) My yarn projects for Christmas are officially complete! Wahoo!!! I have some things that I may do, but they are completely optional. I'm so very pleased with myself. Sorry, gotta gloat about getting something done anyway! I'd show you pictures, but then you wouldn't be surprised.

2) The quilt for my MIL is at the quilters. Yippee!! The thing is huge, it just kept growing on me. The woman said she'd try and work it in ahead of some of the others in her queue - since MIL is now in the nursing home - and I should have it before Thanksgiving. I can't wait to see it quilted. I'll have to add the binding once I get it back. I have some fabric that's going to look like Fruit Stripe Gum wrapped around the edges.

and 3) I know that Craig Ferguson comes on really really late at night. But I appreciate him even more than David Letterman or Jay Leno, so sometimes I will record the show just to see what in the heck he's got going on. If you don't know, this past year (or maybe 2 now?) he became a US citizen and is very interested in the political process. I watched the other night, I just had to share his opening monologue with you. I don't know how to embed YouTube just yet, but one day I'll figure it out. So click the link: Craig Ferguson Political Rant It's not an ugly rant, just one that makes a lot of valid points. And then click this link... Craig Ferguson Part 2

Saturday, August 2

May 2001 - Pineapple Anyone?

When was the last time you cleaned out your pantry? It's been a while for me, but yesterday found me emptying the shelves of everything and taking stock of what's been hiding back there. About half the stuff has a "best by" date of sometime prior to today. And it's a lot of the same thing, over and over again. Like 6 cans of Chicken Noodle Soup. And 12 boxes of Jell-o/Pudding Mix. Beans and Diced Tomatoes.





So I'm going to set up an "interim" pantry - where I have to use one or two items from the old stock every day. Most of it's not bad, it's just not "best". The old rule about canned items was that as long as they weren't leaking, dented, or off in color or smell, they were probably OK. So we'll use up what we have. And how bad is Jell-o or Pudding going to get in it's hermetically sealed little pouch in the box? Especially when it's sugar-free?



What's going back in the main pantry are the current items. Doesn't look like much does it? I mean really, what are you going to do with four cans of boiled peanuts? And 6 cans of hominy - just because you can't find it in the first place. You know it's in there, but it's been buried under who-knows-what. And just how many jars of Mayhaw Jelly does one diabetic South Georgian need?

I can tell that we have a definite Southern influence in our pantry - jams & jellies, cornbread, black-eyed peas, hominy... But there's some regional influence as well - like 5 different brands of barbecue sauce. And 4 different salsas. And fish sauce, and rose water, and anchovy fillets.

What's the oddest thing in your pantry?






Friday, August 1

Purging

It's only a few, but they are leaving the house. I've got about 60 cookbooks - which sounds like far to many, but really, it's not. I like to dream about the cooking I'd do if only people would come visit me on a regular basis. There are some that I like just for the fabulous photos, and some I like for the timeless and normal, sturdy cooking they show you how to do. Food when I was growing up was not something you particularly enjoyed - you ate to eat, not because it was good. Slathering the pancakes with peanut butter and drowning them in syrup - because that was the only way you could actually eat the inch thick burnt puddles of goo. There were a few things that turned out well - split pea soup is one of my favorites, but mostly, it was food.
So I look to the books to learn how to cook. Even simple things like pancakes, or pizza, or believe it or not - how to boil an egg (do you put the egg in the cold water, or do you put it in when the water is boiling? How long will give me soft set, hard set? For whatever reason, this just will not stick in my head!) And I watch too much food TV. But, now, I'm a pretty darn good cook. Oh, I still cook the same things week after week, but I'm not afraid to try something new, especially when it involves new gadgets. And I look to the books to try something new - a different kind of ice cream, a new cookie, something good for dinner.
The books that are heading out the door fall into two categories: 1) somebody else bought them for me - while I appreciate the thought, they just don't inspire me. 2) diet cookbooks - I'll admit, I bought most of these. I thought that maybe a different cookbook would inspire me to cook healthier. Right. They are full of weird foods and weird combinations and that just won't work for me.
So off they go. To the library for their library fund, and a tax deduction for me.

Thursday, May 29

In the works....

The first coat of Gadzooks - obviously I needed a second coat. But it does kinda have that "aged" look to it....


The Paint Colors:
I can't decide if these are showing true on the monitor or not, but regardless.... Gadzooks is on the short far wall of the room. Mango Twist is on the long wall and the wall with the doors. DH keeps calling Mango Twist "Cremesicle" so I guess that's closer than the "Flesh" color it looks like in the photo.

Before:


And yes, that ghastly color was there... the Green Carpet reflected back on the supposedly "white" walls. I keep telling DH that I don't want any more white walls, unless they are on a vintage car!

After:


Much warmer and it feels wider and shorter, more in a real size, even tho it is still 8' x 35'. Egads! A bowling alley! Not wide enough for even a real sofa to go across the room. Thank goodness that's not in the plans.

What is in the plans, is to pull colors from this piece of paper to use as accents in the room - make it feel fun and fresh. (Again, not showing up well on my photo!) I like the acid green and the teal/turquoise blue and add in some haute pink - the chocolate brown is well represented already by the original siding of the house. And there's plans for a neutral color on the floor and ceiling. But don't tell DH. He'd freak I'm afraid! There won't be much of any of them, but just enough to add some life to the room.




Next in this room is to pull the carpet and see if I have to replace the sub-floor or not. If not, I'll be ordering a neutral colored carpet and get that installed ASAP. Hopefully I'll find out this weekend. Otherwise, it's off to the hardware/lumberyard. Joy is mine!

Sunday, March 2

03/01 Setting Goals

Yesterday was a day for dreaming and scheming. So, in an attempt to get some things done around here, I'm going to post my list of goals for the week. It makes for boring reading, but it should help me get on the way for March.
  • Notify Recruiters that I'm ready to look at contract work
  • Make one Cold Call
  • Sign up for SEC Reporting Class
  • Clean the Garage
  • Make Progress on Finishing the Blue Bathroom Vanity
  • Maintain the house, daily
  • Send in Passport Paperwork
  • Send in 401k Paperwork
  • Challenge BBS to Red Photo Challenge
  • Participate in 100 days
  • Blog Daily
  • Work on Quilt - have 1/3 of blocks put together
  • Exercise three times
  • Catch up on Reading
See, told you it was boring. The good news is that BBS is happy to be working with me on the photo challenge. And I like the combos we've posted so far. We'll see just how much I actually get done this week. Love you later!

Tuesday, January 1

Day 001: Finish

It's the first day of a brand new year! Hooray! I'm going to try and practice the power of positive thinking and only think good things are going to happen this year.

I've been spending the past couple of days working on my wish list of things I want to complete this year. It's quite a list, encompassing the house, my health, and my creative side. Oh yeah, and money and family too.

I read a post the other day - and now I can't remember where from - that said to pick a word to define your year. I think that I am going to choose the word FINISH. Finish what's left undone. Finish any projects you start. Finish. I have a bad habit of getting the supplies, starting a project, and then abandoning it when it doesn't meet my expectations or is beyond my skill level. The problem is that I have high expectations of myself, and although settling should not be the optimum choice, some times, it is better to finish as best as you can, rather than abandon all hope.

Quality Picture should be here, but I haven't taken it yet! See me tomorrow.

Saturday, November 3

Day Eighteen (or Hooray! It's a Floor!!)


AFTER

Well, it would be a floor if I could get blogger to upload the pictures. I've finally gotten to the point in my studio that I can steam clean the carpets and move the daybed back in. Once I do that, then it's just down to some straightening and some editing of "stuff" I'm so excited you just don't know. And thank goodness, it'll be done before the kiddos get here. I've got a list a mile long to get finished, but I know that I can do it, I just gotta stick to it. But one room (almost!) down, 20 more to go.
BEFORE

Wednesday, October 24

Day Nine (or Meltdown)

Melt-down last night. {insert picture of a puddle of ice-cream} And if you know me, they don't happen very often. I don't know really what happened. I dropped a fork on the floor and ended in a crying jag bemoaning the rest of my life. The work thing that's going on - on the surface it sounds like every one's dream. Get paid for basically just being available and answering questions. I'm just so used to being in the loop, knowing everything that's going on, being a vital and important part of it. So to just limiting participation to those things they ask you about, it's not really working for me. I'm not about to change it, the rewards are too great. Just in the meantime, it's going to work on my psyche. And then, it feels like I am working my butt at getting the house ready, with no assistance at all.

Added to that, it seemed that everything I did yesterday, everything I tried to push forward, was mired in mud. The car needs to be fixed - I stopped yesterday and added fluid to the transmission, but they need to order parts and then there will be an expensive repair job to be done. Gotta do it - I need to keep the car working until around this time next year.

I tried to push on the remodel - they were supposed to call me back and they didn't so I called the designer dude. Supposed to call me back again today. If they don't, then this is the last time I try.

I tried to push on the AA Miles. Takes 6-8 weeks to post the bonus. And you need to call someone else about the Hilton miles.

I tried to push on the new computer - should have a discount through work, but I can't find it on our internal website. Sent an email, still waiting. If we don't have the juke-box PC ordered by the time I come back from Austin in two weeks, I'm going to move forward on the CD inventory. I just need to know where each of those over 500 CD's is.

So, ugh.

Monday, October 22

Day Seven (or On the Home Front)


It's so good to be home. And I mean even working today. I love the drive in, even tho it really is time to get the car fixed, and I love where I work. But that first cup of coffee in the morning, man that will wake you up.

I woke up this morning at my new and improved wakey-wakey time (ugh:30) and spent 30 minutes admiring my hard work yesterday. It's still not quite ready to put the furniture back in place, but it looks soo much better. And I have a lot of work still to do, but you can see the floor and things are sorted out. Once I have everything put away, I'll need to spend some time and money making it "pretty". BBSis is going to want to paint some of my furniture, and so do I, I just can't manage to haul it down to the garage for painting until I can get some assistance. And everything is fitting on the shelves, just is it fitting right. I am glad I purchased the wire shelves for the deck, they fit perfectly in the closet.

I just look around the house and there are so many things I need to do to just spruce things up a bit. But I think I am going to just take one room at a time. Get it done, maintain it, and move on to the next room. The problem is, there are 21 disticnt living areas in our home. That means, I need to take dedicate each month to two areas and take care of them completely. I think the best thing is to look at the list at the beginning of the month and see which ones are bugging me the most. It appears that October is my Studio. I'll rely on my BBSis to help me get rid of the excess in there when she comes.

Sunday, October 21

Day Six (or Progress Made)

Sunday's are wonderful. I've had enough time to recoupe from the week, and start to get my second wind for things around the house. And I love how progress in one area makes it so much easier to progress in another. This next week should be very satisfying.


Yesterday I was able to get the suitcases unpacked - all the way! And the laundry is started.


I worked for a while in my studio/guest room and things are looking more organized, to me at least. Spousal Unit 1 (SU1) still can't see where anything is going. And how all the stuff on the floor is going to make it onto the available storage. I'll show before and after pictures when I am able to put the beds back. And just for you BBSis, I'll let you look inside my drawers and closets. And then you can tell I have far too many notebooks and paper items. And where should I donate them? I can't just let them go. And I will need to pull out the two to ten sheets I've actually used out of each of them. Oh my. Another task for another day. Today is just about moving forward.


I'm }{ this close to the halfway point of the Nina shawl. I've been avoiding it because I know that now, I'm going to be disappointed with the length of the shawl. I think I knew that when I did the OBBSis Peas & Carrots Scarf so I added interest between the striped blocks by doing another row of checks and useing this really wonky chenille with the wool used in the main. Now how to make my Nina a bit longer. . .

Saturday, October 20

Day Five (or Home Again)

It wasn't supposed to rain last night - the front was supposed to be headed north. But there I was all snuggled under the blankets, next to my honey, in the easy light of the one lamp, listening to the rain on the roof. Thank you. (Quilts by G'ma-watermelon Pattern Unknown, MIL-blue Storm at Sea, FleaMkt Purchase-Made in India red & white Postage Stamp)

In the quiet of the morning, I've had a chance to get my first cup of cream & coffee. There's no cars rushing by on the highway, not even the sounds of the neighbors getting their Saturday morning chores done. The sun is starting to climb the ridge line and brushing the tops of our redwood trees in the clean light. It'll be noon before it reaches the clearing, but that's OK. I need the peace of a morning like this. Even tho there are always a million and one things to do, I need this time to gather my thoughts, to savor the sounds of nothing. It's actually quieter (more quiet?) than normal - I think the birds must be sleeping in too.
In the spirit of "write it down, get it done" I want to set a few tasks for the weekend:
  1. Unpack and get the laundry done ~ I am the worst at this... I hate seeing the suitcases strewn about the house, but all I want to do is be home.

  2. Cut and prepare to mail the quilts to MIL ~ She'll be looking for them now, and I hope she'll be able to get working on them. I think they will help keep her mind active and busy.

  3. Work on my creative space ~ The kiddo's will be here soon, especially when you subtract the time I'll be in Austin, and they need a place to sleep. And, BBSis is going to be interested in what we can do when she's here.
That should be more than enough. Keep it easy and don't overwhelm yourself.